Wyoming High School Bravely Bans Patriotism

Sometimes the greatest revolutions come out of the most unlikely places. Consider the brave administration at Jackson Hole High School in Wyoming. Proving that there is a razor-thin line between nonsense and cataclysmic brilliance, the administrators there have decided to cancel “America Day” on behalf of a suffering student body.

America Day is a longstanding tradition at the high school, celebrating homecoming in a way that doubles as a celebration of patriotism. Students wear red, white, and blue colors to class, wave American flags around, and generally take pride in their country.

Awful, right?

“Many different students could have felt singled out,” said Activities Director Mike Hansen. “We’re trying to be inclusive and safe, make everyone feel welcome.”

Gee, who felt targeted? Is there a heavy concentration of British loyalists in Jackson Hole, still hoping that the crown will rise again? No wonder the left hates the Tea Party.

Redcoats aside, if you’re an American who feels unsafe when confronted with the flag, you may want to consider homeschooling. Buy yourself a rigid plastic bubble, get inside, and lock the door. There you’ll be safe from not just patriotism, but also McDonalds, sidewalks, and menacing birds.

Unwilling to abide by this decision, several students showed up to school flaunting the colors of the flag and generally making everyone feel all squirmy and unsafe. God, don’t these students even recognize their American privilege?

One Facebook user said she was thrilled with the school’s decision. “Unchecked nationalism is not a great thing,” she said, “and has historically resulted in gross atrocities here and elsewhere.”

Yes, there are few things more terrifying than Americans celebrating their patriotism. Historically, this devotion to country has led to such “gross atrocities” as American independence, the end of slavery, the fall of the Third Reich, and the worldwide spread of democracy. When will it end?

If you don’t think this is a glimpse into the future of this country, you need to check the prescription on your rose-colored glasses. The left is working overtime to make sure this country is overrun by immigrants and refugees by the middle of the 21st century. And these poor individuals will not be pressured to adopt the norms of their new culture. No, no. Instead, we will be asked (and then forced) to change our culture to suit the new arrivals. Christianity, American patriotism, and Christmas are out; Islam, rainbow flags, and undocumented citizens are in.

None of those things, after all, ever made anyone feel unsafe.

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