Fresh off their hot success in eradicating the world of the Washington Redskins, the PC Police are back to challenge the winners of the 2021 Super Bowl. According to Washington Post writer Jamie Goodall, a staff historian at the U.S. Army Center of Military History, it’s time for us to think very seriously about the dangers of celebrating pirates.
Very, very seriously.
“While this celebration of piracy seems like innocent fun and pride in a local culture, there is danger in romanticizing ruthless cutthroats who created a crisis in world trade when they captured and plundered thousands of ships on Atlantic trade routes between the Americas, Africa and Great Britain,” Goodall lectured. “Why? Because it takes these murderous thieves who did terrible things — like locking women and children in a burning church — and makes them a symbol of freedom and adventure, erasing their wicked deeds from historical memory. These were men (and women) who willingly participated in murder, torture and the brutal enslavement of Africans and Indigenous peoples.”
Oh! We weren’t on board with canceling pirates when we were under the impression that they only targeted white people and Europeans with their violent ways, but now that we know they victimized “Africans and Indigenous peoples,” what can we do other than agree? Everyone knows that those are the only magic words you need to use to get results in the United State of Wokeness. Tampa Bay Football Team, here we come!
Just to make sure we don’t forget about the main offense of the pirates, Goodall reminds us within just a few short paragraphs.
“So why do we celebrate individuals who were the baddest of bad guys, those whom preacher Cotton Mather once called ‘Common Enemies of Mankind?’ Pirates were known murderers who pillaged, raped and plundered their way through the Caribbean. And they were well-known enslavers who dehumanized Africans and Indigenous people, selling them for profit,” she wrote.
Goodall concluded by informing residents of Tampa Bay that they must address this “problem.”
“Should we celebrate their complicated legacy? It’s a question Tampa Bay has to contend with as we collectively contemplate other major sports mascots with dubious legacies, like their Super Bowl rivals in Kansas City,” she finished.
Guess we have to “cancel” Pirates of the Caribbean (ride and movie), the Pittsburgh baseball team, that one VeggieTales movie, all versions of Treasure Island, Pirates Dinner Adventure in Orlando, and the Oakland Raiders as well as the Bucs. And, apparently, the Chiefs.
Why don’t we just get rid of everything and make a clean break from all entertainment, sports, and anything else that might possibly offend someone?
But then, what would these busybodies do with their time?