U.S. Should Be Proud to Be the Only Country Not to Sign Paris Climate Pact

Last week, Syria announced its intentions to sign the Paris Climate Agreement, making the United States the final country in the entire world to refuse the deal. This is supposed to make us all feel very embarrassed and ashamed, don’t you know? Why, Nicaragua has signed the deal! And now Syria? Oh my golly, President Donald Trump is really just the worst! The worst EVER!

“As if it wasn’t already crystal clear, every single other country in the world is moving forward together to tackle the climate crisis, while Donald Trump’s has isolated the United States on the world stage in an embarrassing and dangerous position,” said Michael Brune of the Sierra Club.

Yes, because if Syria and Nicaragua are for it, then the U.S. should damn sure be for it, right? Hello? Is this thing on?

Of course, there’s a very good reason that the climate nutters and liberals around the world are trying to Paris-Shame the president. Well, there’s more than one reason, but there’s one big reason: It’s because without the U.S. pouring hundreds of millions of dollars into this fiasco, the whole point of the Agreement is largely moot. The U.S. was poised to be, by far, the largest contributor of wealth to this nonsensical scheme. What, did you think SYRIA was going to handle our light work? Or even Spain or Britain? Hell no. This was all about creating a special little program through which rich countries could help poor countries industrialize their way past fossil fuels…you know, eventually…in a few decades or so. And without the U.S. contributing to the cause, the rest of the world is standing around thinking, “Hmm, what do we do now?”

But actually, that’s not quite right. Because what’s really marvelous about Trump’s withdrawal from this non-treaty is that hundreds of cities, states, and corporations have stepped up to pledge their support for the pact. And hey, that’s great! If you want to throw your money to third-world countries, far be it from us to dissuade you. That’s how it should be. Don’t let President Trump tell you what you can and can’t do with your local money. Why should you?

Just like we didn’t appreciate the last guy telling us what to do with ours!

Do you see now, lefties?

The really frustrating part about top-down climate change solutions is that they are almost entirely unnecessary, even if you buy hook, line, and sinker into this whole sham of a thing. Even the scientists and climate freaks will admit this – if they don’t really realize the point you’re driving at. The free market is going to clean up fossil fuels quicker than any law can do it, and then we’ll just have to see if we survive as a planet or not. We’re betting…yeah, we’re going to make it. Somehow, we’re going to pull through this planetary apocalypse.

After all, we’ve got Syria on the job!

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