Rand Paul Lists His Festivus Grievances

It would be difficult to come up with a sitcom that has as profound an effect on pop culture as Seinfeld. Years after it went off the air, “no soup for you,” “shrinkage,” and “yada yada yada” are just a few of the phrases we still commonly use. But it is Frank Costanza’s Festivus celebration that has earned an annual spot in our holiday season. Created to rail against Christmas commercialism, the holiday involves a cheap aluminum pole, feats of strength, and of course the “airing of grievances.”

This year, Kentucky Senator Rand Paul decided to have a little fun with Festivus. He took to Twitter with his own list of grievances, and they are just too funny (and a little bit sad, considering their truthfulness) not to share. If you need a little Christmas pick-me-up, take a read through them on Paul’s Twitter account. Here are some of the highlights.

As a doctor, I was trained to do no harm. Wouldn’t it be nice if politicians started from that premise?

Unfortunately, that’s not the world we live in. Not anymore, if we ever did. Politics have been rife with corruption, bad ideas, and greed for as long as any of us have been alive. It is a testament to our country’s underlying beliefs, our laws, and our Constitution that we haven’t somehow managed to sink ourselves under the weight of Washington’s idiocy.

Your government spent $387,000 of your money on Swedish massages for rabbits.

Paul listed quite a few examples of government waste in his tongue-in-cheek rant, but this one perhaps represents the grievance best. Surely if there is enough room in the budget to fritter away nearly half a million dollars on insipid studies, then there is room to start cutting taxes.

Did you know you could go to jail in DC for 90 days for giving a tour without a license?

Paul next took aim at ridiculous laws, which speaks to his pedigree as a libertarian. The Kentucky Senator has some conservatives worried that he is not to be trusted with foreign policy, but it is in his overarching desire to see an America unrestrained by limitations on freedom that he redeems himself. No president will ever be a perfect choice, but Paul’s commitment to real change makes him a valuable participant in the debate.

4th Amdt Grievance. The Obama Administration’s idea how to deal w/ the Patriot Act and the NSA spying on Americans.

This was accompanied by a picture of the Bill of Rights with the 4th Amendment blacked out. This was how Paul chose to wrap up the annual airing of grievances, demonstrating how important it is to him that we reign in the federal government’s invasion of our privacy.

I don’t agree with everything Paul says, but I think he makes for a much more interesting GOP candidate than many of the proposed frontrunners. He may rub the establishment the wrong way, he may be a bit too bipartisan for some hardliners, but he is a fresh voice in a country desperate for them. That he has a sense of humor is just a bonus.

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