Rahami’s Father Reported Him to FBI Two Years Ago

According to the New York Times, the name Ahmed Rahami has crossed the FBI’s desk before. And the man who drew the feds’ attention to the aspiring terrorist? None other than Rahami’s father, who claimed credit for the phone call when speaking with reporters on Monday.

“I called the FBI two years ago,” claimed Mohammed Rahami, the father of the terrorist who planted 10 bombs in New York City and New Jersey this weekend.

The Times says the FBI did not take Rahami’s report very seriously. There was apparently an incident where the bomber stabbed his brother and then spent some time in jail. And when the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force interviewed the father, he recanted his story and said he’d only turned him in “out of anger.”

Yeah, that old chestnut. Hey Jack, remember that time you got so mad at your son that you reported him to the FBI as a terrorist? Oh man, that was a classic. He almost got deported! Good times…good times.

Whether or not the elder Rahami thought his son was a terrorist or not, it’s remarkable how these stories keep playing out so similarly time after time. It’s just like Donald Trump said after the San Bernardino massacre: there are people in these families, in these neighborhoods, and in these mosques who know what’s going on. You saw the exact same thing after the Orlando shooting, where we learned that not only did the guy’s family know he was a loose cannon, but that he was actually under FBI surveillance. Unlike the stereotypical white school shooter types, these Islamic radicals do not just snap out of nowhere.

Oh, but we’re not supposed to talk about that. That’s profiling. Sorry. Back to your regularly scheduled nap.

And while you’re napping, we can dream about all kinds of things. Ooh look, a flying bowl of Skittles – that must be important! Oh hey, Trump said they were bombs a few hours before the FBI said they were bombs…cool. That must mean something…

Wait, won’t we miss something if we just stay asleep?

Nah, the next blast will wake us up. For a little while, anyway.

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