Hollywood Will Save Us From Our Guns

Despite earning billions of dollars from movies that glorify gun violence, Hollywood is ready to help America escape the awful confines of the Second Amendment once and for all. Headed up by Julianne Moore, the Everytown Creative Council (a subsidiary of Michael Bloomberg’s Everytown for Gun Safety program) will include such luminaries as Steve Carell, Reese Witherspoon, and J.J. Abrams along with many others.

“As American citizens, we are shocked and saddened by the loss of life, and the daily increase of gun violence in our beautiful country,” Moore said in a statement announcing the initiative. “We do not believe that the Second Amendment and gun safety are mutually exclusive ideas, and as a creative community, we will do everything we can to support the safety of our fellow Americans, and galvanize more to join us in this movement.”

So far, their “creativity” has given us such invaluable tips as:

– Criminals shouldn’t have guns

– Guns should be stored out of the reach of children


– Guns should be kept away from the mentally ill

If only we’d had this group sooner, just think of how many lives could have been saved! Keep guns away from little kids? That’s some next-level genius right there.

If you’ve been wondering why Hollywood seems unable to produce anything original, this group might hold a clue.

Of course, Moore and the Anti-Gun Superstars aren’t planning to just dispense gun safety tips. In an interview with People magazine, Moore said, “For cars, you have to have training and you have to have a license, and you wear seat belts and we have airbags and we have all of these things in place that have reduced fatalities unbelievably,” Moore says. “I feel like something that is very sensible and straight forward can be done also with guns.”

Of course you do, Julianne. But then, you don’t have the faintest idea what you’re talking about, so we’ll have to take your opinion with a grain of salt. Because the last time we checked, there wasn’t anything in the Constitution about the right to drive a car. That doesn’t just weaken your analogy, it exposes your complete ignorance about this subject.

Oh, but she’s certain that she’s on the right side of history.

“With all of these rights that we have in our Constitution come a great deal of responsibility, and I think the founding fathers would agree with me,” she said.

Sure. But what she doesn’t seem to get is that stricter gun laws are not compatible with greater responsibility. Along with the rest of her anti-freedom cabal, she wants to alleviate that responsibility. We’ve already proven that we can’t handle it, so she’s here to encourage us to give it away. Relax. Let yourself enjoy the warm embrace of the State. You don’t really trust the “people” to govern themselves, do you? Come on…a little light totalitarianism never hurt anyone.

How do you think these creative artists would react if there was a movement to regulate content in Hollywood? If we were talking about making “common sense” laws to curb film violence instead? Think they’d still find that automobile safety analogy applicable?

The scary thing is, if the next group of Hollywood liberals is anything like the ones in college right now, they might be down for that, too.

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