Democrats Want Some Interesting New Census Questions

Tom looked through the peephole, glanced back at the census form on the counter, and cursed his procrastination. Now here they were, on the doorstep, and he would have to spend the next twenty minutes answering questions. He sighed, opened the door, and surrendered himself to the process. Soonest begun, soonest done.

After a perfunctory greeting, the census representative asked, “How many people are living in this house?”

“Three,” Tom said. “Me, my wife, my kid.”

“And may I please have your phone number?”

Tom rattled it off, resisting the urge to check his watch.

“And your sex?”

“Male,” he said.

“Okay, and do you also identify as male?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Er, well, what I’m asking is…what is your preferred gender identity?”

Tom, fully present for the first time, examined the census taker warily. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Um,” he said, shifting nervously from foot to foot, “are you transgender?”

“Do I look trans–give me that.”

Tom stole the clipboard and scanned the form, certain that this punk was playing some kind of prank. This whole ordeal was probably being filmed for YouTube.

But no, there it was. Right on the page. And there, one line down, was another doozy: “What is your sexual orientation? Please choose from the following: Heterosexual, homosexual, asexual, pansexual, bisexual, demisexual, or questioning”

Tom looked up at the census taker. “What…what happened to this country?”

But the census taker had no answers, only questions.

-End Scene-

This scenario will be coming to homes all over America if a couple of Democrat lawmakers have their way. Rep. Raul Grijalva and Sen. Tammy Baldwin are pushing the U.S. Census Bureau to begin gathering information about the sexual orientation and gender identity of all citizens.

“Many federal data collection instruments gather respondents’ race, ethnicity, sex, marital status and other personal demographic information,” the lawmakers wrote in a letter to the bureau. “However, most of these instruments do not include direct measures of respondents’ sexual orientation or gender identity.”

Well, we can’t have that. Who knows how much more money we could be spending if only we knew just how many pansexual genderqueers were living in America?

“In order to make further progress toward understanding the LGBT population (including its economic, racial, and geographic diversity), we strongly believe the Census Bureau should measure ACS respondents’ sexual orientation and gender identity,” Grijalva and Baldwin concluded.

Further progress, mmhmm. Diversity, yes uhuh. Yeah, they’re barely trying to hide it. This is a money grab. But that’s far from the worst of it.

Put the LGBT thing aside for a second and just appreciate how it never ends. It never ends! The tentacles of the federal government keep growing and growing, and there’s no serious opposition to it. Just imagine what they’ll be asking on the 2040 census. Or the 2050 one. “Have you ever posted on any of the following websites?” “Have you ever said ‘White lives matter’?” “Do you have any literature in your home that might be characterized as ‘conservative’ in nature?”

Gender identity.

It’s just…what can you even say…


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