We’re going to strive to avoid the beer snobbery in this piece about Heineken’s abysmal, out-of-touch liberalism; if you like it, great. If you don’t, great. The quality of their beer is really beside the point, because this would be angering even if it was on the side of the best craft beer in the world. The fact that it happens to be on this inevitably lightstruck swill…wait, we said we weren’t going to go there.
In any event, Heineken is rolling out its “Open World” campaign, complete with an arrogantly naive message on every green bottle.
“Here’s to an Open World,” the message says. “To a world without borders or barriers. To the belief that there’s more that unites us than divides us. To finding common ground. So raise a bottle with the person next to you. Because a stranger is just a friend you haven’t had a cold Heineken with yet. Open your world.”
Oh, and pray that the stranger won’t press the button on the bomb inside his overcoat before you have a chance to pick up the tab and stumble home.
That’s ridiculous, you say. It’s not like every foreigner is some kind of secret terrorist.
To which we say, OF COURSE NOT. And that’s the point. NO ONE thinks that way! So we don’t need this corporation or that corporation preaching to us from their ivory tower about how we should all get along and celebrate our differences and find our common ground and so on and so on and so on. This has never been about “prejudice” or “bigotry” or “racism” or whatever else these idiots want to pretend it’s about.
Everyone with half a brain recognizes that immigrants are part of the fabric of American society. What does that have to do with building a wall? No one’s saying – okay, ALMOST no one – that America has to be a land for white Christian native-born straight guys ONLY. But Jesus, can we just stop with the lovey-dovey, throw-open-the-doors crap for one second and admit that not everyone who hops the fence comes here with good intentions? Can we look reality in the eyes and admit that one particular religion seems to have a serious problem with fanatical followers? Can we take some simple, lawful steps to safeguard our country without being called white supremacists?
You know, this crap makes us so angry that we feel driven to drink, so maybe Heineken’s onto something after all…