Lee Hurley is a woman, but she identifies as a man, has a beard, and, judging by what she wrote in her VICE essay, even has a surgically-constructed penis. But she was on Reddit last week, asking a burning question: Why is it, everyone, that whenever I tell a woman that I’m a transgender man they immediately stop contacting me??
Inquiring minds want to know!
Though Hurley got plenty of sensible, fully-explanatory replies to her query – essentially beginning and ending with “Women are on dating sites to find men, not freaks wearing a man-like disguise,” she found a way to come to her own conclusions. Namely, that any woman who refuses to date a transgender “man” like her is just a bigot unworthy of her romantic attention. We’re sure this leaves the women who ghosted her feeling extremely bad about themselves.
“A woman born a woman is always a woman, no matter what,” one user advised. “The women on the dating apps are not interested in dating other women so they vanish because they are interested in men.”
A normal person would have figured this out on their own, but even after reading this, Hurley couldn’t penetrate the logic.
“It made me feel sorry for those who have such a limited view of how gender and sexuality works and it helped me realise that it isn’t, actually, anything to do with me,” she wrote at VICE. “It’s a societal problem, theirs not mine. I mean, how do you counter someone who thinks an Adam’s apple is an essential component in a mate?”
Hurley admits in the piece (and on Reddit) that she’s not always upfront about her trans-ness ahead of time when talking to prospective mates. This, naturally, attracted quite a few Reddit users who accused her of trying to trick women into dating her.
Once again, she was baffled by this response.
“I didn’t check their dating profiles but I assume they’ve listed every medical condition they have on theirs. I noted how they didn’t seem to expect a man who’d lost a testicle to cancer, for instance, to declare that upfront on his profile, nor a woman who might have lost breasts to the same disease,” Hurley wrote.
The delusion is strong, but what are ya gonna do.