16-year-old Swedish activist Greta Thunberg has a lot of things going for her. She’s rude, famous, and currently enjoys a kind of left-wing limelight that David Hogg would envy. She’s traveling the world to spread the message on climate change. No, it’s not a new message, and she doesn’t bring anything particularly fresh to the table, other than her age and the ever-present braid in her hair. But she’s a kid, and we all love kids, and, you know, “from the mouths of babes” and all that. Thus, the left-wing climate machine has found its new champion: A girl who is above all criticism, simply because she’s sixteen and has Asperger’s.
Well, fine. We won’t criticize.
We’ll just note that being sixteen doesn’t make you any more right than anyone else. Indeed, it vastly increases the chances that you’re wrong. Or, in this case, that you’re simply being used as a convenient pawn by forces that are realizing that Al Gore’s bearded face ain’t gonna be enough to get the job done.
“You all come to us young people for hope. How dare you! You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words,” thundered Greenhouse Greta at the United Nations on Monday. “I should be back at school on the other side of the ocean.”
We’re certainly not sure how the gathered assemblymen of the United Nations managed to steal Greta Thunberg’s dreams or her childhood. She could give up her worldwide fame in an instant and go back to her Swedish classroom at any time, could she not? Oh, but then the world would spontaneously combust like Krypton as it neared the red sun. We forgot. Our bad.
But this is the stage we’re at in the climate wars. Actually, come to think of it, we don’t remember what came before this stage. From the beginning, the global warming hysteria has been a foot-stamping, whining, screaming, tantrum-y kind of affair. Yes, Al Gore manages to look a little more dignified when he’s pitching a fit than Greta Thunberg, but that’s just the point. In another five years, they’ll just have an actual Baby Climate Change out there in front of Congress, screaming endlessly while the closed captions read: PLEASE WON’T YOU STOP USING FOSSIL FUELS FOR THE SAKE OF THE CHILDREN!!?
Ah, but maybe we’ll all be burned to a crisp (or whirled away in a SuperMegaGiant hurricane) by then, and we’ll be spared the sight.
Almost worth it.