Chelsea Clinton Forced to Publicly Deny Worshiping Satan

There has been a lot of talk over the past year of Chelsea Clinton following her mother and father into politics, but we can’t imagine that this is the kind of thing that launches a career into the stratosphere. As one conservative site humorously put it, it’s never a good day when you have to publicly deny that you worship Satan. But that’s exactly what Clinton was forced to do this week after her social media overtures to the official Church of Satan sent Twitter into a tizzy.

The trouble began on Tuesday. In a tweet to Chrissy Teigen (how does this idiot always wind up in the middle of things?), Chelsea wrote, “In 2017, @Church of Satan & I were put on a few threads together. In 2018, it’s…@Hooters. What a time to be alive Chrissy!”

In response, the Church of Satan tweeted, “The never ending excitement here is never ending.”

To this, Chelsea wrote: “It’s been so long! Happy New Year!”

The Church of Satan does not claim to literally worship the demonic presence of the Bible, but rather uses the name as a symbol for man’s “carnal” nature. They describe their religious ideology in this way:

We are the first above-ground organization in history openly dedicated to the acceptance of Man’s true nature—that of a carnal beast, living in a cosmos that is indifferent to our existence. To us, Satan is the symbol that best suits the nature of we who are carnal by birth—people who feel no battles raging between our thoughts and feelings, we who do not embrace the concept of a soul imprisoned in a body. He represents pride, liberty, and individualism—qualities often defined as Evil by those who worship external deities, who feel there is a war between their minds and emotions.

The exchange led many on social media to wonder aloud if Chelsea worshiped the Devil or, in any case, identified with the Church of Satan’s ideology. This forced Chelsea to defend herself, claiming to be a Methodist with a Jewish husband but insisting that it was possible to be respectful to those with different beliefs.

“Oh goodness gracious,” she wrote. “We can be civil, cheerful, and respectful to and friends with people who don’t share our religious beliefs. Sometimes we even marry them. I’m a Methodist and my husband is Jewish, thank you very much.”

In any case, Chelsea now has a possible campaign slogan to launch her political career. CHELSEA CLINTON: I Don’t Literally Worship the Devil!

Which, in fairness, still has a better ring to it than “Stronger Together.”

 


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